A Guy’s Review of “I Just Want To Be Alone”

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My review of “I Just Want To Be Alone” a collection by some of the best female bloggers and writers out there. Put together and published by Jen, from http://peopleiwanttopunchinthethroat.com

Immediately upon finishing the newly released “I Just Want To Be Alone,” I was like:

“AAAAAUUURRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!! STOP THE PRESSES! FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT’S GOOD, DO NOT LET THIS HIGHLY SENSITIVE INFORMATION GET OUT!!!! THEY’VE FIGURED US OUT!!!!!”

As a guy…and a husband, I was mortified that the ladies had been able to so accurately describe pretty much everything about us:

* From not leaving the Kohl’s card home when we’re out of town
* To our ability to eat everyfuckingthing under the sun without gaining (too much!) weight
* Or that we have absolutely no clue that chips come in a variety of different genres…whatever that means…
* And let’s not forget about our keen sense of smell, and how we use such a gift to determine the cleanliness of clothes…or whether or not we peed the bed.
* There’s also some disturbing news: Our wives may be trying to plump us up purposely! And not even our prized memorabilia is safe in the hands of a high heeled, insect assassin. And don’t even think about trying the old “We’re out of mayo” trick – Nicole Knepper of http://momswhodrinkandswear.com gives a tragic end to an otherwise great attempt to get a little below the belt attention
.

As if that wasn’t bad enough, there’s advice from the brutally hysterical Magnolia Ripken from http://magnoliaripken.com. And a spot on letter from Christine Burke of http://keeperofthefruitloops.blogspot.com to her son, ensuring that he doesn’t become an asshole to his future wife. Hmm. The more I think about it, more of us guys could have probably used that letter at one time or another.

My concern about “ I Just Want To Be Left Alone” intensified last night, as I awoke from a peaceful sleep and heard my wife making all sorts of noises.

Noises I had rarely heard from her.

Noises of…agreement.

Wife: Mmmm hmmm.

Wife: Yup.

Wife: Mmmm yessiree

Wife: Oh yeah!

Me: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?

Wife: Reading that book by all those women. They’re geniuses!

Me: Ug.

So there you have it. These ladies spilled a lot of stuff about marriage and husbands. Some of it flattering. Some of it…uh…not so flattering. But all of it absolutely hilarious!

I highly encourage all you ladies reading this to go out and buy the book. You can get it on Itunes, Amazon, and Barnes and Noble. It should be required reading for women everywhere. Whether you’re a mom, a wife, an in-law, a gram-maw, or you’re not even married yet…this book will have everyone cracking up.

And guys…I gotta be honest. These immensely talented writers nailed it. And they actually did it in a way that actually makes it seem like they really do love us and appreciate us. In spite of how we all are. We should all be reading this, fellas. It’s a first hand look into the minds of how women think. The book is like finally finding that big wormhole to the mysteries of the universe!

Oh, and Arick? That guy is a total frigging saint! (Read the book…it’s worth it just for what he had to go through!)

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Aside from an advance copy of this book, I didn’t receive any compensation for this review. That should show you how much I liked the damn thing!

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I write stuff. And I have Poodles. Big Poodles. The Poodles don't write stuff.

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12 Comments on A Guy’s Review of “I Just Want To Be Alone”

  1. I need to forward your review to my hubby. This was freaking hilarious and astute of you. Even though I didn’t write about my husband in the book (because he would have pulled a Greg in the dark alley and his towel) I think he’s afraid to see what women in general think. I’m using you, Tom; and for that I thank you for being strong and taking one for the team.

    • Thanks! I was, and still am, scared shitless to see what women in general think! But the book really was fantastic. And pretty damn spot on, if you ask me.

  2. You’re bad ass, Tom. Bad. Ass. Thank you for this stellar review, and for seeing the humor in the anthology. We appreciate you don’t have a stick up your arse and that you are secure enough in your role as “husband” to let us poke a little fun! Many thanks!

  3. Thank you for the awesome review! And yes, chips come in different genres. Potato, tortilla, cheese puff … don’t get me started. :)

    • Are cheese puffs really a chip? I might argue that one. I think, being a “puff” they would probably fall into a different family. Same goes for cheese poofs and cheese balls. And what about Funyuns? What would those guys be classified under? They’re not actually an onion, but I don’t think they’re a chip or a poof either. Why don’t you guys write a book about this shit?

    • Thanks! It’s funny, cause when I was reading the book, I was checking shit off, like “Yep. Done that. Oh yeah. Been there. Tee hee hee…guilty of that one, too…” Thank God I only had a digital copy of the book, or I’m pretty sure my wife would’ve flung it at me.

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