RIP, Motley Crue!

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Motley Crue is calling it quits.

Vince, Nikki, Tommy, and Mick are hanging up the spandex and washing off the makeup for good at the end of 2015. They even signed a contract stating that there would be no more touring after that. No final reunion tour or shit like that, that Kiss has done 7 or 8 times already. Done is done. Unlike Nikki Sixx dying and coming back, the Crue ain’t coming back.

I don’t know about you, but I think this blows. Sure, no one wants to see a once prominent act like Motley carry on without it’s original members. Or worse yet, be forced to play some backwoods county fair, like some other 80s bands are doing these days, playing their handful of hits and stuffing their bloated faces with Pabst and sugar coated, deep fried elephant ears, all the while hoping to get some middle aged, lifelong fan to flash her flabby funbags during the requisite power ballad. But Motley Crue is different. They’re still on top of their game! I mean, sure, Vince Neil seems to be eating quite well, and he isn’t hitting the high notes like he used to, but aside from Steven Tyler, who’s gotta be like 103 by now, there’s not too many rock singers out there that can work a crowd like Vince. And Nikki Sixx? Is there anything that guy can’t do? He’s got a great new band, Sixx AM, with songwriter extraordinaire James Michael, and GnR guitarist DJ Ashba; he’s got a great radio show, he’s a best selling author, and a respected photographer. And the fucker came back from being dead! Then there’s Tommy Lee, and even though his dick hasn’t been in the news lately, he’s still a powerhouse drummer and sought after deejay. And rounding out these gangsters of grime, is Mr. Mick Mars. This guy’s guitar sound, pretty much defined the 80s hard rock sound. Sure, he’s not in the best physical shape these days, but you could put that man in a wheelchair and roll him on stage, and he’d still show alot of these younger guitar god wannabes, how it’s done. Not to mention, it might actually fit his persona to have him out there in a wheelchair. Creepy, little dude!

Now, I know I might be showing my age here a bit, not wanting one of the favorite bands of my younger days, to retire, but I’m really concerned about who’s gonna step in to fill their shoes. What are my kids gonna grow up listening to, and sneaking out to see in concert?

I remember going to see the Crue back in the day, and man, it was an event. Everybody put on their stonewashed jeans, and concert shirts. The guys all blow dried their hair to make their mullets seem longer, while the girls put on enough makeup to paint the Berlin Wall and teased their hair up so high, it looked like a satellite dish was perched on top of their forehead. All the younger kids walked around the concert hall trying to get the older kids to buy them beer, while the older kids got hammered and tried not to puke on the person they were trying to pick up. It was awesome!

Nowadays, things are different. The bands seem to care more about who can be the most offensive, scream the loudest, and get the most tattoos, than about the quality of the music. I’ve heard younger music fans make fun of the Motley era bands and how they looked, all while they’re wearing skinny jeans, caked on eyeliner, and their hair looks like a category five hurricane has been blowing on the back of their head for about seven hours straight. You know, the “comb your hair forward until it covers one side of your face as much as possible” look. And before you say, “the guys in Motley Crue all have tattoos” realize that their tattoos were accumulated over the years from some world class tattoo artists, not like these so-called cutting edge, tough guys these days that get some hack scratcher at a tattoo kiosk in the mall to give them a sleeve for $300 bucks.

The concerts are different too. Back then, bands had full albums to promote, not just their latest iTunes single. A band could go onstage and play for two to three hours, unlike some of the concerts today, where you have 157 different bands that all sound alike, playing a festival style, all day show. And what about the show itself? The bands back in the 80s put on a show. Pyro, awesome lighting, strippers…the Crue even had flying drums. And lately, they’re packing a roller coaster drum set. Bands now? You get 4 or 5 guys all dressed in black, that flop around like they’re having an epileptic fit, in front of a bedsheet with their band name spray painted on it. I’d say, way to go all out for the ticket holder, but it’s not like the concert goers really care anyway. They’re usually just flopping around like they’re having an epileptic fit too. Or they just popped a bunch of X, and sit there through half the show licking their own hand.

Anyway, it’s not that I don’t necessarily like any newer bands, there’s actually alot of new bands that I like. It’s just that I think with Motley Crue retiring, we’re also sadly retiring an age of over the top, fun, party music and concerts. I hope I’m wrong, but as of now, I’m just not seeing it.

Oh yeah, then there’s the part about the whole thing just making me feel so much damn older…ugh.

So, what are you listening to these days? Anyone ever had the Crue concert experience? Going to see their Farewell Tour? Am I wrong in thinking this way? Anyone think Tommy Lee’s not huge?

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Rocking out while watching Cougar Town!

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daddyanarchy

I write stuff. And I have Poodles. Big Poodles. The Poodles don't write stuff.

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6 Comments on RIP, Motley Crue!

  1. I remember seeing Eurythmics and Elton John in Montreal – at the time, if the future me would have come back and said “somewhere in Canada, there are people who will create Justin Bieber, and your daughter will be his fan” and then played me a highlight reel, I would have taken one for the team and found those people and removed their reproductive organs, with my bare hands.

    • That’s why they call it the blues. You guys up North should be thankful, the little creep spends the majority of his time down here now. By the way, thanks for reading and commenting! Your comment is more well written than anything I’ve written on my entire friggin site. Speaking of reproductive organs and bare hands, I hope you’re having a great Valentine’s Day.

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